don't get comfortable

oh hi there! how are you? you look great! have you done something with your hair?

this random, one-off return to blogging is brought to you by the delightful and impeccably dressed miss nicole. and only because she called me her hero.

yes, the urge to blog may have faded, but the narcissism is strong as ever.

so here goes...

7 things you don't know about me

1) i have never stolen anything. unless you count hotel soap and a few kisses. which you well might.

2) as a toddler i once tried to breastfeed from a random topless sunbather on a trip to the beach with my family.

3) i never take painkillers for headaches or hangovers. i have no idea why, other than to say i am clearly lacking in both sanity and a reasonable pain threshold.

4) i long to have a dog named 'bill pullman.'

5) my mother's last words to me - after days of not saying a word - were "i can still hit you." i couldn't have scripted it better myself.

6) i'm a single mum with an 80 year old daughter.

7) i was positively shocked as a teenager to discover that masturbation was something both sexes could participate in - separately and as a team sport.

let's never speak of this again.

- la nadine

i am considering maybe possibly returning to blogging

until then, or from now until forever, please enjoy this arty picture of a meerkat, taken by the photogroper on my birthday a few years back:

probably not worth returning to blogging for...

we interrupt this blogging hiatus to bring you this shock announcement:

I WATCHED 'SPICKS AND SPECKS' TONIGHT AND DARREN HAYES IS A COMIC GENIUS!

yes, for anyone who didn't catch it, darren hayes, former savage garden frontman, recently outed manlover, and he whom i thought was possibly one of the lamest humans to ever take a breath, is fucking hilarious.

i swear, i'm as shocked as you are about this. but i promise it's the truth.

it's like now that he's admitted to his love of mansex he can also admit to having a sense of humour. because, as we all know, the gays are a laugh a minute. all of them. even the dull ones.

so what will i find out next? nikki webster actually has a brain? naomi robson actually has a soul?

it's all a bit too much really.

and now back to my time-out.





UPDATE: i would like to state my affinity with defamer jess's opinion regarding recent allegations concerning mr. hayes. although stranger things have happened, it does seem very unlikely to be true.

it's not you it's me.

somebody recently left a comment alleging that in order to increase my readers and comments i should talk more about my massive rack and penchant for pole dancing.

i am not offended by the remark, and nor am i adverse to waxing lyrical about either of these topics, as many of you will know.

after all, i do have a massive rack and i am obsessed with pole dancing.

however if people feel that this is all i have to offer the blogosphere i think it may be time for a bit of a break.

and besides, i'm so freaking busy whoring my soul to the advertising world and learning to hula hoop that i can barely find the time to bathe, let alone blog.

so don't cry for me blogospherina, always remember that mummy loves you very much, and she is never more than an email away.

stay dorky.

x

maximum exposure

last week i received a 'bring david hicks home' campaign poster in the mail from wonderful tree-hugging lefty organisation GetUp.

this is what it looks like (except it's bigger in real life. der):






























assuming i was meant to display it somewhere for others to see, and lacking in better alternatives, i hung it on my balcony, at the rear of my appartment.

the problem is that there is only one person ever likely to see this poster, and that person is my very possibly obsessive compulsive neighbour with an eerily strong resemblance to hicks himself.

and maybe his three cats.

so i thought i'd write this here post in order to spread the word a little further than my backyard.

bring david hicks home and give him a fair trial, etc.

pass it on.

hypothetically speaking, of course.

if your 80 year old grandmother randomly gave you $100 and said it was "because you don't have a valentine and your parents died", would you feel like the most incredibly pathetic creature to ever walk the planet?

some like it hot

ladies and gentleman, i believe i've met my match/future husband:
































it will be a love like no other, born of a mutual tolerance for all things spicy.

our children, "jalapeño" and "habañero", will be idolised by kids everywhere, and we will tour the world in a traveling festival of chilli eating wonder.

and who knows, maybe we'll even cure cancer or something cool and helpful like that.